What never fails to amaze me is how weddings (an occasion that calls for happiness and celebration) are premeditated with a standard event that calls for a “code of silence” and disrespectful behaviours.
Bachelor parties have this whole notion behind them- sort of a general intentional concept regarding “the celebration” of a man’s last night as a single man; the notion that it’s his last chance to touch another woman ever again; the notion that it’s the bachelor’s last night of “freedom”.
(And I always thought a guy’s last night being single was the day before he committed to being exclusive with his girlfriend- not the day before they exchanged wedding vows).
What really bothers me is that in order to “celebrate”, it means hitting up the strip club (because after all, a bachelor party without strippers is like a baby shower with no presents), getting absurdly drunk, and encouraging/endorsing the guest of honour to cheat or behave in disrespectful ways.
There is an implied message in bachelor parties that says “I’m about to be tied down and imprisoned, I better hurry up and do all the things I’m going to miss one last time”.
Although strip clubs isn’t necessarily considered cheating, it seems to have become a prerequisite or “ritual” to getting married, and getting a lap dance is the rite of passage.
Bachelor parties have always had a bad rep, and many women know just how wild this pre-wedding ritual can get. But what I do not comprehend is how many and most men see this night as an “anything-goes” event- like a socially acceptable occasion to stray or even cheat.
And even if it doesn’t go as far as cheating, getting sexual dances and taking shots off women’s breasts is still questionable and it is all about the intent. When guys touch strippers or gawk at their half-naked bodies, there is always something sexual behind that.
And let’s face it: when men get drunk, they tend to get super excited and let things fly as they do stuff they won’t even remember the next day. Why do you think bachelor parties have this unwritten code of silence. This is the beginning stage to the creation of a pattern of deceit that can really damage a relationship that is just about to commence.
So although perhaps most men are against having sex at their party, there are others who are hoping for it to happen as “part of a show” so they don’t feel guilty about it, while other man are actively trying to make it happen, constantly asking strippers for sexual favours.
Women also partake in bachelorette parties but although they also include sexual aspects such as pole dancing lessons, sex workshops, eating penis cake and sipping drinks through penis straws, they are never as rowdy as men’s parties.
As men celebrate their nuptials with female-ogling and being ‘single’, girls on the other hand are planning for the future, learning tips on how to spice things up in the bedroom. And although many brides do celebrate at male strip clubs, the general consensus among women is that Chippendales is all really just for a good laugh.
When girls hire male strippers, it’s usually jokey, funny, entertainment, not meant to be salacious whatsoever; whereas female strippers are tawdry and extremely raunchy.
Watching men whirl in a thong, doing booty-pops and handstands is usually the opposite of what most women find attractive in men- that’s why most of us just pass it off as “silly”.
The thoughts going through a woman’s head when an oiled up shirtless beefcake is gyrating around for some dollar bills is definitely a far cry from the thoughts going on in men’s heads when a double-D, lacy-undie-wearing vixen is shaking her ass in his face.
And not only is it disrespectful to go to a strip club the day before your wedding, but what it entails is enough for many bride-to-be’s to get infuriated and even feel betrayed, because let’s face it, even if they aren’t touching, they most definitely are getting turned on.
Now, many women can argue and say that they have enough trust in their men or respect each other to ever have to worry about men cheating. But it isn’t only about men drooling over other women, surrounded by half-naked women with gigantic breasts in their faces, giving lap dances, all as he’s just about to marry, but the suggestion that he needs one last hurrah before tying the knot. It should be offending! Marriage should be one long celebration; something to be looked forward to by both males and females, not something from which they take an excuse for to get a free pass to play around with hoes and not feel guilty about it.