“Single and happy. Is that even possible?”
When it comes to the media portraying single ladies, there are certain stereotypes reflected that have grown to become cultural expectations. They are shown as lonely and pathetic women, always chasing a man or in desperate need of finding love. They are automatically assumed to be fussy, neurotic, insecure and prone to binge eating.
The media has always shown that marriage and parenthood is considered more important to a woman’s than to a man’s life. From Disney, to Hollywood, the storylines for female characters have always been centered on finding true love, and marrying a man.
Although there are single ladies out there longing for a man to put a ring on it, not all women are actually built like that. Being single doesn’t necessarily equal sadness, unhappiness and inadequateness. Some truly are just fine with being single and don’t long for that special companion. There are other aspects in a women’s life that don’t have to revolve around having a man- be it her career, her health, friendships, family, or sex life.
In fact, it can be argued that these single women are actually the ones who are living the life. They are absolutely free, not having to report to anyone, and being able to do whatever they want, whenever they want. They are really like independent super women.
Just because they aren’t hanging on to a man’s arm doesn’t make them any less of a woman. On the contrary, women who are on their own are actually gaining more time to mentally prepare for marriage and parenthood.
Being in our twenties, we are constantly being told that this isn’t a “throwaway decade” and we are relentlessly being urged to plan our lives. But much of this advice on “planning our life” is focused on settling down, moving out of the house, and figuring out when to get married and start a family.
Although the typical stereotype of people in their 20s is that they are lazy and indecisive, the reality is that we just don’t have enough structural support in our lives in order to make these decisions. Most of us don’t move out of our parent’s houses until we graduate and get the financial support to buy our own place, pay off school tuitions, buy our own vehicle, etc., etc.
So although to our family and to society, we are considered to be adults, we are in fact still maturing and deciding to share our life with someone by a certain point in our lives should not be on our list of priorities.
Being in a relationship is no guarantee of happiness, and as a matter of fact, being single gives you more time to mature as an adult and to properly get to know who you are and what you actually want in life…
1. Travel Alone
This is your time to re-discover yourself, to challenge yourself, and to achieve that dream of seeing the world. Traveling alone will open you up to new cultures, engage you in different lifestyles, and completely open up your eyes to new things. You will be able to meet people and do what you please without the worry of having to deal with anyone else’s baggage other than your own (literally!)
2. Focus On Your Career
When you are single, you can completely dedicate yourself to your work without having to balance your career with someone else’s schedule. You can pursue all those ambitious goals you had in regards to your professional development without having to divide yourself up between work and relationships in order to satisfy anyone’s needs.
3. Work Out
Singlehood is the perfect chance to work on your body and health in a positive manner, boosting your self-esteem and confidence. Working out will help you look and feel amazing. You will actually be able to use your free time on your personal health gains and focus on all your goals.
4. Go Out
This is the time to go out, be free, and actually enjoy those Saturday nights out with the girls. This is your time to have fun without the worry of anyone else’s emotions other than your own. No need to feel guilty if someone buys you a drink, asks you for a dance, or gets your number. This is also a time to rekindle long lost friendships and simply enjoy your friends’ company.
5. Gain Self-Perspective
Being single gives you the chance to explore and learn about who you are, what you need, and what you are exactly looking for in future relationships. It gives you the time to gain perspective on your past relationships, and to help you realize what are the things (and what aren’t the things) that make you happy. It gives you the opportunity to just “be yourself” and really know who that person is; to gain direction in your life and be able to attain all those goals you have set out for yourself without the worry of no one but yourself.
So single ladies, don’t fall under the typical stereotypes of being lonely, desperate, ticking biological clocks. Although growing up happens fast, you cannot hurry love, so might as well enjoy your single time because the time to really get in tune with yourself and learn who you really are is now!
As seen on Thought Catalog published on Apr. 28, 2015.