I was always against long distance relationships. Being the affectionate, cuddle-craving, flesh-to-flesh-demanding girl I am, I always believed that I could never actually love a person who lived miles and miles away from me. That is until, I fell in love with someone who was miles and miles away from me…
Love IS impossible to predict, and I would have NEVER, EVER imagined myself in such a complicated relationship, but yet here I am.
So as a long distance connoisseur, let me assure you that it is one the hardest things I have ever had to do…and no, unfortunately it doesn’t get easier. But through the pain and the distance, I can honestly say that being in a LDR does have its upsides. For anyone second-guessing their LDR or in need of some self-assurance that everything WILL be okay, here are some of my top silver linings when it comes to long distance relationships:
1. Every heart-wrenching goodbye is followed by a heartwarming hello.
They say that goodbye is only truly painful when you know you’ll never get to say hello again, but saying goodbye to your lover at the airport or bus station when your counting down the minutes before you have to be separated until who knows when can still be just as painful. But the positive side (and the only thing that helps me get through this physical pain) is the notion that you will see each other again and the reunion will be pure bliss. So look forward to your next hello, and ultimately to the time when there will be no more goodbyes.
2. The miles between you does make the heart grow fonder.
Sure, it’s a common saying, but studies have actually proven this cliché to be true! The distance and time apart just makes you appreciate him or her even more when you actually do get to be together. It forces you to value the time you do have together and make every minute count. Every touch, every cuddle, every embrace, you will learn to be thankful for. During the time spent apart, you will both have time to reflect on your relationship and really see just how much each of you mean to each other, bringing you closer to each other in the end.
3. If you can get through the distance, you can probably get through anything.
If you are both equally committed and invested to one another, then there should be no problem overcoming the long-distance obstacle. Although it is hard work and possibly the hardest things you will ever have to do, if you both work as a team and put in the effort, you can rest assured that you can accomplish anything together.
4. You are forced to be your own person.
A lot of times, couples tend to merge together, and just become an extension of one another. In a LDR, you are forced to be independent and live your own lives. You get to keep doing you, whether it be practicing your favourite hobby, spending time with your friends, staying active, or focusing on your career, whatever it may be, you don’t have to change who you are.
5.It’s a mini-vacation every time you see each other.
Every visit is an excuse to pack up your essentials, nicest outfits, and explore new cities or even your own city for the weekend. Being in a LDR gives you the perfect opportunity to travel and meet each other anywhere around the world. And if you do stay local, you get to do the touristy things that you’ve always skipped as a local. Every time you get to see each other, it turns into more than just seeing each other. It’s always a new adventure, where you get to explore new things together, and make new memories wherever you go.
6. You can look forward to the day you close the gap.
If it is something you both want, the two of you will be reunited for good one day so just think of your LDR as a temporary, tricky situation that you will both come out of in the end, together and stronger than ever. Having something to look forward to is one of the key tools to overcoming the LDR blues. Knowing that eventually one day you will be together for good gives you something to be excited about. It is a mutual goal you share with your loved one and another step in your lives to work towards. There is nothing more special than sharing a common vision, and ultimately, being on the same page as your partner when it comes to future plans.
7. You know you’re not alone.
Through all of the hardships and emotions you undergo in a LDR; the sadness, the emptiness, the loneliness- at the end of the day, you can rest assured that there is one other person in the same boat as you who is also feeling the exact same way. The person who has stayed with you this entire time, the person who has always been there for you, supporting you and believing that what you have is special, the person who is in this with you who shares the same hope and determination to make it work: your lover.
8. Your relationship doesn’t have to be perfect; it just needs to be worth it.
Long distance relationships ARE hard and some days will be more difficult than others, but know that it takes two very special types of people to make it work. If these two people are truly in love, then their love will infiltrate the country borders, the hundreds of miles, and the different area codes separating the two. Love is the strongest force in the world and it knows no distance. So although it may not be the worlds easiest and most perfect relationship, and it might even physically hurt your heart, just know that this special bond you share is utterly and completely worth it.
As seen on Thought Catalog published on May 27, 2016.